This event holds extra-significance to me, because this time last year I was not a coffee drinker. This is my first chance to enjoy the autumnal elixir that has amassed a Beyoncé-worthy following. The excitement of the masses regarding this drink is downright insane. So, in accordance with the hedonistic anarchy that’s sure to take over at lunch-hour, I suggest that we consecrate this date as a national holiday. Every holiday needs traditions and rituals, so I’ve outlined some appropriate options below. Today may we all tuck our yoga pants into our UGG boots, proclaim our instas to be filter-less, and have an on-fleek Basic-Bitchmas, one and all.
Sharing Tangible Tidings
Wishing someone a happy holiday is ok, but there’s something so beautiful about doing it in card form. Like, someone actually made the effort to get your address, physical or digital, and design you a greeting that’s aesthetically pleasing! Plus, this tradition fits quite naturally into your regularly scheduled Bitchmas-tivities, because, let’s be real, you were going to take a picture of that cardboard cup anyways. Put that high-angled selfie to good use by slapping on some customized text and sending it to the inboxes of all of your semi-close acquaintances. It will show them that you remember they exist and keep the communal spirit of Bitchmas alive!
Make It A Meal
All major holidays involve a ceremonial gathering around a table. For Thanksgiving and Christmas it’s a gathering with a home-cooked meal (sorry for exclusions there, I was raised very Lutheran and have attended no other winter holiday celebrations), on Valentine’s Day we make reservations at over-priced restaurants, and after trick-or-treating you gather at a table to engage in the annual Halloween bartering ritual. Basic-Bitchmas should be no exception. Gather a group of your closest friends and sit around a coffee-shop table with your piping-hot lattes. Have someone, perhaps your group’s resident “elder,” say a few words to consecrate the liquid meal. They could speak of early 2003, when a group of researchers met in the Liquid Lad at Starbucks headquarters and made a discovery that would change a generation. Or how the PSL is available in 50 countries, uniting the nations in a GLOBAL holiday phenomenon. Or how much it hurts to burn your tongue because you were too excited to wait till the coffee cooled, since that’s relatable and brings the convo back down to Earth.
The Songs Of Starbucks
I love to carol. Christmas music is one of my favorite parts of the holiday season, and I see no reason why Basic-Bitchmas doesn't deserve some carols of its own. Watch the video below and feel free to sing these songs whenever the Pumpkin Spice Spirit hits!
Keep it well-spiced, my Sippin' Sisters <3