Resolve To Stop Dropping Spoilers
I’ve been guilty on this account, for sure. And with the big things (GoT, Star Wars, etc), it’s much easier to refrain from spoiling because the fandom community is violent as hell. I truly fear for anyone dumb enough to spoil the season finale of Game of Thrones. Even so, spoiling things of all sizes is in our nature. We want to share our experiences, whether we’re commenting while showing someone our favorite movie for the first time or whether we’re just really ecstatic about an episode of something we just watched. We give up twists, jokes, and magical moments without a second thought. It’s understandable, but try to promote the mystery of good art rather than divulge clever plot points and specific zingers. (Again, I suck at this, I will be trying to reform.)
Resolve To Stop Being A Mooch Machine
This one can sneak up on you. Yes, there are the obvious perpetual-mooch offenders, but in most relationships it is easy to develop a mini-mooch. Friends fall into patterns and often that pattern is that you always hang out in one place, perhaps just one of your apartments. That can mean always eating their food (that they prepare for you), drinking their booze, passing out on their floor, etc. If you notice that you have developed mini-mooch tendencies, it’s an easy fix. Just bring shit with you! Seriously. A few bottles of a mutually-favored poison can go a long way. If you’re in the young-and-poor community like I am, it’s especially important that you find a way to contribute to your relationships where the consumable goods flow from only one side.
Resolve To Stop With The Conversation Domination
We all do it from time to time, but some among us are serial offenders. It’s understandable to want to share your stories, but without realizing it you might be taking over the conversation by force. If your stories last 20-40 minutes on average, and I’m not talking about once in awhile milestones like a new-relationship-beginning story or an engagement or a stages-of-a-huge-breakup epic, I’m saying that if every story you tell takes up half of your dinner date (on its own) you’ve got a problem. Thankfully, this problem is easily remedied: just listen! Ask your friends and acquaintances about their lives and listen earnestly. This is something that all of us can benefit from doing, as it will make us better friends and nurture our existing relationships and the ones that the new year shall bring! Don’t be a Kanye, be an Amy Poehler. (Also watch her Smart Girls interviews, so many kick-ass women are involved!)
Resolve To Stop Saying “You Look Great!” In Relation To Weight
I swear, to all the ignorant masses who actually think this is a cool, ok thing to do, you do not understand how bad a choice of words this is. Now, if you know that your friend is trying really hard to lose weight for health reasons, yes that’s a good time to compliment, but also the only time to compliment based on weight. I’m serious. First off, you don’t know someone’s inner battle. You don’t know their self-image, their insecurities, how they restrict themselves or self-flagellate. As someone who has overcome years of eating disorders, this “compliment” legit pisses me off. I look a shit-ton better now than I did as a double-0, thanks very much, and EVERYONE looks good. Ok? Everyone. You don’t know if your words will perpetuate someone’s inner problems so keep them to yourself, or compliment them on something actually substantial, like their sense of humor or awesome taste in lipstick. Be a part of the solution this year, readers!
And finally, one last resolution that’s in your own best interest:
Resolve To Stop Being So Damn Hard On Yourself!
We’re all guilty of this in one way or another. I am a ticking time-bomb of anxiety and I’m mean to myself about everything from missing imaginary deadlines to putting off a work out (for a few weeks). Hell, I’ve even been mean to myself about being fucking sick for the last few months! We are inordinately hard on ourselves, which is far from surprising in this world of cut-throat careers, photoshopped “body inspirations,” and child stars who’ve made more by age 10 than most of us will make in our entire lives. However, the nicer that we are to ourselves, the happier we will be. The more patient we are with ourselves, the more zen we will become. You deserve to be happy, because you are wonderful and beautiful and special as hell. Treat yourself that way, consciously make an effort, and this will be your best year yet!
Happy New Years, my loves!