If you’re over 21, chances are that someone has used a really horrible pickup line in your general direction. These typically range from gross, to sappy, to just plain dumb. More sloppy than appetizing, in my opinion. An effective pickup line, with actual pickup potential, can be hard to perfect, so here are 5 options that are way more like to work than, “Did it hurt?” Because listening to you finish that sad attempt really will hurt, the listener as much as the failed picker-upper.
What Hogwarts House Would You Belong To?
Yes, opposites are said to attract, but often it’s best to keep your romance within your fandom. You can theme your question towards GoT, LOTR, or whatever other abbreviation fits your fancy. If you truly love one of these fandoms, you’re likely to be compatible with others who share your interest. You could ask for their favorite Doctor, their favorite Star Wars film, or something that denotes a popular fandom that I know nothing about. Man, fandom is a fun word. I’ve never really used it until now. Anyway, I’m a Ravenclaw, according to every test I’ve ever taken online, and the fact that I’ve taken those tests proves that if you’re disdainful of all that is magical in the Rowling sense, you can move right along.
Wanna To Split A Pizza?
The best thing about getting tipsy outside of the comfort of your home is that it’s way more likely you’ll be able to motivate yourself to trek to a pizza joint. It’s fairly common knowledge that drunk pizza may be the single greatest food-experience of our time. So universally liked, it has the power to mend the rifts between us all. This also takes out the “I’m getting lured into a stranger’s place to get murdered” possibility, at least temporarily. Late night pizza joints are a neutral space. A bubble of safety, ecstasy, and warmth. And now I really want a substance-enhanced pizza experience. Darn my cold and the noon-on-a-Monday constraints of time and space.
What 90’s/Early 2000’s Cartoons Were Your Jam?
We older millennials love to lament the fall of solid mainstream cartoons. Nick used to have it going on, and now it’s all garbage. You know it, I know it, and that person you’re trying to pick up at the bar knows it. Besides providing an important topic to relate over, this question can also teach you a lot about your potential new squeeze. Hey Arnold is for sensitive souls who like to get deep, philosophical, and intellectual. Lovers of Rocko’s Modern Life have strong stomachs and aren’t afraid of the weird. Ed, Edd n Eddy fans have a real thing for schadenfreude. And of course, if the person says that they never have and to this day don’t like cartoons of any kind, for some people that may a red flag, mayn’t it?
Hey Girl, You Look Like You Should Be Running A Company
“I bet you have excellent executive leadership skills. You know how to command a room. If you were my boss, I’d never make jokes behind your back about you having your period in response to you pointing out my huge stupid-ass mistakes.” See? I’m making myself swoon right now! Stop objectifying and give an actual compliment. I like compliments on my appearance, but not if you’re just into me for my appearance. Be into someone for their boss potential, their artistic side, or their enchanting way with words. Seriously. Embrace the dimensions.
Do You Have An Adorable Pet You Can Show Me Pics Of?/Want To See Pictures Of My Puppy?
It’s no secret that a lot of Tinder swipes are influenced by adorable 4-legged friends. You may not have a lot of faith in a stranger, but you sure aren’t going to doubt the intentions of their abnormally fuzzy kitten! If you don’t love adorable animal videos, I sure I don’t want to interact at length with your sad, jaded self. Pets are good and pure, injecting something untainted and beautiful into an otherwise seedy courtship process. And the real winning quality of pets is that the person you’re trying to pick up may want to meet your charming furry compadre in the future. So really, there’s no negative side to this strategy, aside from the person possibly being way more interested in your pet than they are in you. But you get the obsession, because it’s also your obsession, so it won’t hurt that much in the end.