“Give Out Candy”
What are most colleges missing? The babies, the wee ones, the chickadees. What is the best part about real-world Halloween? The tiny supers, the newborn lion cubs, the teeny weeny wizards! Who doesn’t love seeing the adorable masses in their Halloween garb? Sure, you could leave a candy bowl out for the kids to help themselves, but then you’d miss out on the cutest costumed night of the year! The other great thing about “giving out candy” is the subliminal meaning of the quotation marks. It’s like a code. Not an in depth code, more like the kind that’s used in middle school circles, or the coding of the phrase “Netflix & Chill.” Giving = Binging. Out = On. Candy = well, duh. Hey, this Friday it’s just the couch and me and the candy bowl makes three, all night. Copyright that and let’s call Big Bad Voodoo Daddy!
Actually Make An Award Winning Costume
What’re you doing every evening? I can tell you what you’re not doing. Homework. Studying. Even if you have a real job (pats on the back, overachiever), you have some separation between home-life and work-life. At school, this divide doesn’t exist. About half of “social hours” are spent at the library. This makes college Halloween parties infamous for their non-existent costumes. Meaning, some costumes are mere scraps of fabric, and some costumes are considered “costumes” with mere scraps of evidence. Button down shirt and a pirate hat? Look at what a realistic pirate that is! A cardboard sword? You overachiever, you! Now that you have an actual personal life, you have the time to craft a really wonderful costume. Your excuses have become moot, so why not make your outfit impressive! Win a costume contest! How often do you get a chance at validation just for playing dress-up?
Freaky Film Festival
I love thematic films. The 25 Days Of Christmas on ABC Family is my SHIT! Seriously ABCF, WhereTF is my schedule? But digression, digression, there is also a 13 Nights of Halloween on ABC Fam for all of the half-scary family-friendly holiday films that fraidy cats like me adore! Netflix is also a rich option, boasting everything from The Corpse Bride to The Addams Family to some Shrek Halloween special thing? They have a whole category devoted to “Halloween Favorites.” Now that you’re a graduate with ample free time, why not dedicate some of your schedule-excess to getting in the holiday spirit! Whether you stream old favorites, classics that you never got the chance to see, or fun stuff that can just loosely be categorized as “Halloweenie,” this is a fun pastime that you probably haven’t had the time to commit to since middle or elementary school!
Pretty Punch Bowl
Repeat after me: “Natty Light, never again. Natty Light, friends don’t let friends.” Good. So now that we’ve got that out of the way and you’ve either got a real adult job and/or are living with your parents to keep from spending mucho moolah, we can agree that you have enough bank to mix one night’s worth of goddamn fancy cocktails. Get out a punch bowl, or a salad bowl, or really any excessively large, liquid-vat that necessitates a ladle. Find a fun recipe online and buy the fancy-pants liquors that it requires (or at least the business-casual equivalents, we aren’t rolling in the dough here). Share your witch’s brew with several friends or maybe just one, depending on how long of a week it’s been. We’ve all been there. It’s only Monday, but I feel quite there already.
Collegiate or not, the good times will continue to roll if you don’t hit the brakes.
(Working on my portfolio so that I can get into the field of quote-a-day calendar writing. Else I'm just actually that lame.)